If there’s anything stranger than Nicolas Cage, it’s the way that fans have (ironically or sincerely) been inspired to celebrate him in any way possible. It’s one thing to slap Cage’s face onto a pillow or a cellphone case or something, but it takes a whole different level of decision-making to dedicate 8 different lip glosses to the patron saint of bold choices.

And that’s before you consider the fact that every gloss has a theme from a different outfit from a different time period of history. Oh, and he’s in drag. And, perhaps most importantly, the names of these glosses are incredible.

See for yourself.

And, while you’re at it, don’t forget to check out our podcast about the greatest actor to ever live.

Nic Cage Taming Dinosaurs in a Sweltering Prehistoric Jungle ($9.00)

 

• Colour – Sheer caramelly brown with red shimmer*
• Flavour – Red velvet cake

 

Nic Cage Being Birthed Amidst Seafoam and Cherubim ($9.00)

 

• Colour – Sheer, delicate opalescent seashell pink with a subtle pink-to-blue shifting shimmer
• Flavour – Cream cheese frosting

 

Nic Cage Resigned to a Loveless Marriage for the Good of the Realm ($9.00)

 

• Colour – Vermilion with tones of coral and rose and a smooth lacquer finish
• Flavour – Figs and pomegranates

 

Nic Cage Nibbling Petit Fours in a Posh Victorian Tearoom ($9.00)

 

• Colour – Moderately opaque dusty rose with a gentle pearl finish
• Flavour – Fancy pink frosting

 

Nic Cage Churning Butter One Crisp Thanksgiving Morn ($9.00)

 

• Colour – A gorgeous nude color, slightly on the sheerer side of medium coverage
• Flavour – Honey

 

Nic Cage Doing the Charleston in a Bustling Speakeasy ($9.00)

 

• Colour – Moderately opaque fuchsia-mulberry
• Flavour – Bubbly champagne

 

Nic Cage Posing for a Calendar with Shiny Bright Red Cars ($9.00)

• Colour – Sports-car red, with a subtle pearl finish
• Flavour – Cherry pie

 

Nic Cage Getting Funky with That Saturday Night Fever ($9.00)

 

• Colour – Super sheer purple with bright orange sparkle
• Flavour – Grape candy

And if you’re not sure which one to try, you can pick up the Cages Through the Ages collection, combining 5 different glosses ($35.00)

Bonus Eyeshadow: Nic Cage Raking Leaves on a Brisk October Afternoon ($6.50)

 

 

*product info via Shiro Cosmetics

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Check out Rattling The Cage‘s podcast on Apple Podcasts, Google Play, Stitcher, Podbean, and wherever fine podcasts are served.

Dylan Clark-Moore joined Rattling The Cage because talking about Nic Cage’s personality is way easier than forming his own. You can find him on Twitter, Instagram, and Letterboxd.